Letting Go…

Okay folks, it’s been awhile since I sat down to write. To put my thoughts to paper or should I say my computer.  To be honest, I am not really sure writing is my thing.  I’ve done mostly technical writing, which is short, and to the point hence most of my posts have been point form. Regardless, this has been a great journey and learning experience. I am proud of myself for sharing my personal story and struggles with the wonderful World Wide Web.

…I am writing this while on an airplane, on route to see my parents in Nova Scotia, who are currently going through one of life’s struggles. My mom has dementia and with each visit she is a different woman. I always have mixed feelings going home. Will she know me? Probably not but I do get to hug her and see her smile.  I do mourn the loss of my mom every time I go home, letting go of a piece of who she once was, one visit at a time…

Well, I digressed there for a moment!!  Letting go…

I started this journey not really sure where I wanted to take this. It was away to release a lot of my past thoughts and create new ones and maybe help someone along the way.  I still get those lows, although not as often, how I get out of those lows are quite different. I know longer fight against those feelings, wishing life away. I let myself acknowledge them and move forward.

I will leave you with some parting tips that have helped me move pass my anxiety and depression to see the light in me and all around me:

  • Live in the present, focus on the NOW
  • Practice Gratitude Daily
  • Use Photography, one click at a time to focus on the beauty, expressing my creativity. It brings focus to those moments that make you pause and smile

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  • Recognize how the energy around you affects your mood.
  • Throw out those old Journals that have more darkness then light. Change to only practicing gratitude.
  • Don’t wait too do the things you love, my parents did and now it’s too late.
  • Expect miracles, we all deserve some sort of miracle from a thank you, to a random text from a friend, too a surprise trip to Europe (going in June :o)).
  • Visualize success and your desired outcome.
  • Acknowledge how you feel and let it roll right over you like a passing thought in the wind just blowing through.
  • Affirmation: I am safe. I am enough. I am loveable. I am free to be me.

Remember that even on your low days, if all you do is get out of bed and just breathe then it’s a good day. You’re still shining your light on the world in some small way.

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Until next time, if there is a next time….keep shining your light. We are all in this together.

One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

P.S. One day at a time…each day offers something new.

Breath in the good, out the past….LET GO!!!

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Posted in Alzheimer, anxiety, beauty, being thankful, blessings, choice, darkness to the light, Dementia, gratitude, inspiration, iphotography, journey, light, Little things in life, Manifesting, mental health, Mental Illness, passion, positive thoughs, recovering from depression, Smile, the little things in life | Leave a comment

Life is a Journey, not a destination

Life is a journey, not a destination…a quote I repeat in my head daily to bring me back to the present, to the NOW!!

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I use to be so concentrated on my final destination of what my life should look like that I forgot to enjoy the journey. I forgot to notice the little things in life that make me smile.

Journey

A journey filled with depression, anxiety, low self-confidence, lack of self-love but that’s the negative part of my journey and there is so much more to my journey.  I’ve persevered, I’ve conquered most of my demons, I’ve seen, I’ve travelled, I’ve laughed, I’ve loved, I’ve experienced life the best way I know how.

Destination

…Unknown…but that’s the best part, I now visualize nothing but beauty, laughter, love and adventure…;o)

I’ve had many depression episodes and anxiety-ridden experiences where I’d hide from the world and retreat from friends.  It was my journey to take and come to this moment in time. As I sit here writing this post and reflecting on my journey I can still pull out many, many great life experiences. I’ve been searching for a destination most of my life, a passion so to speak, an “aha” moment but just maybe this is my “aha” moment.  To realize that there is no destination just moments in time that adds up to NOW, to a journey that actually had purpose after all. It’s made me who I am today. My journey maybe at a snails pace but it’s my pace and I finally realize it’s not a race. Destination, unknown.

One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

P.S. Enjoy the journey my friends as life can surprise you at any moment with the good, the bad and the ugly. Even the bad and the ugly give us lessons to learn from.

 

Posted in anxiety, beauty, being thankful, blessings, darkness to the light, depression, inspiration, introverted, journey, light, Little things in life, Manifesting, Mental Illness, passion, positive thoughs, recovering from depression, seasonal affective disorder, Smile, the little things in life, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

In with the New…

Happy 2016!! Only 2 weeks after the fact 🙂

It’s a time too reflect on 2015, too set new resolutions, too check new items off your buckets list, too reevaluate where your life is heading.  Hmm, sounds simple. This year, I decided to take a new approach. I guess it is kind of a resolution but more about letting go of the past. Declutter my surroundings from stuff to reoccurring old habits.

Two days after New Year’s eve, I started going through my junk drawer, I have a couple to go through, I came across some old journals I’d been keeping around all the way back to grade 8. Why? Not really sure. I’d read them occasionally but I noticed one common reoccurrence, a lot of darkness and not a lot of light.  I was a gal struggling with her inner demons on a regular basis, ready to give up at any moment. A pattern reoccurring for more that 20+ years.  At that moment, I decided too throw out those journals and only keep my gratitude journal I started back in March. It was such a release to let those journal’s go.  A fresh start so to speak. Out with the old and in with the NEW….focusing on gratitude and following my inner light.

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One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

P.S. What in your life can you let go?

 

Posted in being thankful, blessings, choice, darkness, darkness to the light, gratitude, inspiration, light, Little things in life, Manifesting, Mental Illness, positive thoughs, recovering from depression, Smile, the little things in life, Uncategorized, uniqueness | Leave a comment

Willow

I’ve recently been dabbling with iPhotography. My favourite subject is my 12 year old dog. We go for walks daily and try to keep our walks interesting by exploring different parts of YYC.

Here are some of my favourite Shots from our November walks:

I am a bit of a minimalist so my iPhone is my main camera of choice.  Maybe one day I’ll upgrade to a fancy camera but for now, it’s been fun to play around with the tool I have in my pocket. :o)

One Quiet Gals Journey xox

P.S. Look for the beauty that is right in front of you.

 

Posted in being thankful, darkness to the light, Dog, gratitude, inspiration, iphotography, journey, Little things in life, Minimalist, new hobby, recovering from depression, Smile, the little things in life | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thank-you

A year ago today, I started this blog. It was a terrifying thought at first to put my most inner thoughts out into cyberspace for anyone to read even close personal friends. My goal was to help at least one person reading any of my posts that they are not alone. My biggest take away from my journey over the past year comes down to one word: GRATITUDE.

GRATITUDE: being thankful even for the littlest things like a rainy day or that one tree that speaks to you. Even if life gets you down and it will try it’s hardest just look up to the sun or stars and say Thank-you!!

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I’d like to say a BIG THANK-YOU to those that stopped by and/or decided to follow me.  I do apologize for my lack of posts but life and myself kind of got in the way. Thanks for your patience.

One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

P.S. Smile and say “Thank-you”. :o*

 

Posted in being thankful, darkness to the light, gratitude, hope, inspiration, journey, light, Little things in life, recovering from depression, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Watch Tree

If trees could talk, they’d have some pretty amazing stories to tell us.

I frequently drive by this one tree on my way to downtown YYC.  It stands alone overlooking the city although some days it has guests sitting quietly reading.

I recently had the pleasure to get up close and personal with the “Watch Tree”. I stood there in awe of its presents as it posed while I took some pictures. I swear I could hear it whisper.

One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

P.S. Natures quiet presence is a thing of beauty. It’s all around is someway or another.

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October Bliss

September has been both hard mentally and physically. I was sick for half and then my Sciatica came back with a vengeance. I am up to 6 ibuprofen a day just to sit down and be able to do some form of activity. I have sought help but the pain has yet to pass. On top of my physically illness, I have barely ventured out in the last 30 days and when I do venture out I feel lost, paralyzed with fear and anxiety. October is a new month.

How to change the September Blues into October Bliss?

With October fast approaching, in less than 24 hours, here are my recommendations to finding my bliss:

  • Animals, especially dogs, have always been your passion. Roll with it. Pick up that phone and volunteer. You’ve spent months thinking about it. Just do it!
  • Follow your new hobby of taking photos with your iPhone. Do it because you love capturing that moment and being grateful for the beauty all around us. Don’t worry that’s not on a fancy camera. You are a minimalist. Enjoy not carrying bulky camera everywhere you go. Just get out there and practice the new photo techniques you’ve been learning. Explore the city.
  • Be okay with where you are. You’ll get there. It is the journey not the destination.

One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

P.S. Open the front door and take a step.

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One of my favorite photo’s I took last week.

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September Blues or Autumn Love

September blues hit me hard every year.  I don’t quite understand except that it signals the end of summer holidays. The sunny days are shrinking, it’s getting colder with each waking day, kids are back to school and schedules start taking priority.  I can feel the darkness wanting to take up residence.

As I sit here on this beautiful fall evening waiting impatiently for my daughter to call too pick her up, I realize I do have the power within me to choose. Will I let the september blues take hold?  Will I let the fearful, negative thoughts take over as I feel the grip tightening?  Or Will I choose the light? Will I choose autumn love?

Every year, it’s so, so easy to fall back into old thought patterns and old habits. Fear and anxiety stop me in my tracks daily but this year, right now, in this quiet house with only my thoughts; I choose AUTUMN LOVE, I choose the LIGHT!!!

Well, that was simple, in writing. Universe, I am asking you to hold onto this thought, plant that little seed in my brain and make it grow. Reach for that light and show this little mind of mine everything I love and appreciate.

AUTUMN LOVE…my favourite season…

  • A time to reflect on those memories made from this summer past.
  • The beauty of those turning leaves.
  • Dog walk’s as my feet touch the fallen leaves.
  • IMG_3271Crisp mornings with the light morning frost.
  • My favourite plaid flannel shirt, tucked away in my closest, patiently awaiting my arrival once again. Who am I kidding I never put that one away…:o)
  • My grandmother’s home knit socks to keep my feet warm on those cold fall mornings and evenings.
  • The first sip of my morning coffee as I look out the window at the changing leaves.
  • Fall, country drives with my favourite peeps by my side.
  • My annual fall gathering to play in the leaves with my daughter and my best friends kids.
  • Fall hikes in the mountains that leave me speechless

Just breath in that fall beauty…Be grateful…

One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

P.S. Smile at the little blessings. Changing Seasons!!

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A hike we did last fall called Larch Valley.

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Rainy Days

Rainy day’s, I absolutely love them. The sound of rain, as it hits the ground, sooths my soul. It’s a form of meditation for me. I can stay in my PJ’s all day, watch movies all day, cuddle with my dog all day… I can just be.

It’s like the universe is saying rest; re-energize your soul and listen.

One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

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Dementia and my Dad

What an emotional roller coaster of a visit to my hometown this past two weeks? Life is not the same. Dementia is taking over my Mom. Dad is struggling. I am a five-hour plan ride away. My sister is a 16-hour plan ride away. How do we help my Dad who is at his breaking point?

Mom is getting worse with each passing year. Her mind is slipping away. Dad’s life partner and best friend since they were 16 is no more. Dad is struggling with loosing his wife and keeping his sanity.  Every time he left her for a short time he worried about her but then when he was back he struggled to keep his patience and watch the women he loves slip away.  Yes, I am loosing my mom but Dad is loosing so much more.  It is so hard to watch.

Dad has to constantly answer Mom’s questions even though she doesn’t understand the answers. When Dad was taking me to the airport she must have asked him 30 times where we were going but she doesn’t understand the words plane or airport. Even when we arrived at the airport Mom was confused. The constant questions and nagging were wearing on me so I can’t imagine how Dad feels as he had been living this way for quite some time.

My sister and I have given him options to get more help so he can manage Mom and keep his sanity but he keeps procrastinating. Do we do it for him? Do we wait till Dad is ready to take the next step? She is not really home material yet but we may loose Dad if he doesn’t get help for mom and himself. I have never seen my Dad so emotional as I did this trip. Tears flowed freely from Dad. He is struggling. He has some hard choices to make and soon. Only he can make them.

Life will return to normal for me but Dad’s normal is no more…life’s journey, so unpredictable…if one thing I’ve learnt from this experience is to live life to the fullest because you never know what’s around the corner knocking on at your door.

One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo

P.S. Dad and Mom, I love you…thank-you…

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