Questions with no real answer?

Decided to write again today, still struggling to understand this feeling that came over me on Monday…just when, I think, I finally find peace of mind, the feeling is gone.

Depression, what is it? I was given this label about 15 years ago. Is that really what I’ve struggled with most of my life or is it just self-confidence and lack of self- worth. Always striving to do and stay the right thing. Scared to speak my truth, whatever that is…scared of confrontation…scared of being wrong. Is it your up bringing? Is it really hormones? Is it my personality? Being shy and introverted certainly doesn’t help ones self-confidence in an out-going world. Is it the time of year where most friends have there family around and  mine is far away? Is it knowing my Mom, with dementia doesn’t know me or that it is Christmas and that Dad is alone over the holidays ? Is it guilt for being blessed when I know deep down others are not so fortunate? Is it just life…

I sit here in Starbucks wondering how one can go from being content and happy one week and then struggle in the blink of an eye the next. Tears flow freely this week. Maybe it’s just a week of reflection and releasing old emotions to a more peaceful state of mine.  Releasing the old to allow for positive change in 2015. Yeah, that’s it!!

This week, I wouldn’t call it depression but the stress of the holiday’s and life’s curve balls. Those negative thoughts are not screaming but just telling me this feeling will pass.

Rescue Strategies:

  • Think of those little things that make you smile and make you feel blessed
  • Walk the dog on this beautiful Thursday in YYC
  • Just Be…be okay with how your feeling today. It’s okay to have these days.
  • Angel Card Reading
  • Exercise
  • Smile
  • Pay it forward

As one friend stated, one foot in front of the other and 10 minutes at a time….riding that wave, I am…


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