Home sweet Home…or is it…my mom has dementia and she doesn’t know me. My sister is home with her family and she doesn’t know me. My dad is home struggling to care for my mom and he doesn’t know me. Home has changed. I have changed.
I’ve been home in Nova Scotia for a week now. I’ve seen some great friends and shared lots of laughs but family on the other had has been full of stressful moments. I am struggling to keep my anxiety in check, to not fall back into old negative thoughts and be the woman I know I have become. I am having conversations in my head with my family yet I do not speak. One day those words will flow out loud but today is not the day.
Last night, as I lay in bed, with tears in my eyes, rambling positive affirmations in my head and clearing the negative energy all around me I decided I needed a few hours for myself to regroup. I needed to use the positive energy of the ocean to feel at peace with myself once again. Well, that’s my goal anyway before I go back into my family dynamics. Wish me luck!!!
Tomorrow is a new day… 10 more sleeps… as I sit here writing this post from a small seaside coffee house; I realize that I forgot to look around me at the beauty of the East Coast and the little things that made it feel like home.
One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo
P.S. One Day at a Time…I am enough…home is where your heart is.