What an emotional roller coaster of a visit to my hometown this past two weeks? Life is not the same. Dementia is taking over my Mom. Dad is struggling. I am a five-hour plan ride away. My sister is a 16-hour plan ride away. How do we help my Dad who is at his breaking point?
Mom is getting worse with each passing year. Her mind is slipping away. Dad’s life partner and best friend since they were 16 is no more. Dad is struggling with loosing his wife and keeping his sanity. Every time he left her for a short time he worried about her but then when he was back he struggled to keep his patience and watch the women he loves slip away. Yes, I am loosing my mom but Dad is loosing so much more. It is so hard to watch.
Dad has to constantly answer Mom’s questions even though she doesn’t understand the answers. When Dad was taking me to the airport she must have asked him 30 times where we were going but she doesn’t understand the words plane or airport. Even when we arrived at the airport Mom was confused. The constant questions and nagging were wearing on me so I can’t imagine how Dad feels as he had been living this way for quite some time.
My sister and I have given him options to get more help so he can manage Mom and keep his sanity but he keeps procrastinating. Do we do it for him? Do we wait till Dad is ready to take the next step? She is not really home material yet but we may loose Dad if he doesn’t get help for mom and himself. I have never seen my Dad so emotional as I did this trip. Tears flowed freely from Dad. He is struggling. He has some hard choices to make and soon. Only he can make them.
Life will return to normal for me but Dad’s normal is no more…life’s journey, so unpredictable…if one thing I’ve learnt from this experience is to live life to the fullest because you never know what’s around the corner knocking on at your door.
One Quiet Gals Journey xoxo
P.S. Dad and Mom, I love you…thank-you…